Monty Python's Flying Christmas
by MorphManiac
Summary: Original Christmas Songs Monty Pythonized. Does include spam. PG for British cursing...or something completely different.
1. Twelve Days of Python

For the first time ever to appear in MorphManiac's storylist, would like to present

**Monty Python's Flying Christmas**

Disclaimer: Monty Python belongs to Monty Python. Spam belongs to uh. . . well you get the idea. I don't own this.

Without further ado, here we go!

The Twelve Days of Christmas--**Monty Python Style!**

On the first day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

A heck of a bloody good time!

On the second day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

Two wooden rabbits

And a heck of a bloody good time!

On the third day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

Three Hungarian dictionaries,

Two wooden rabbits

And a heck of a bloody good time!

On the fourth day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

Four killer cars

Three Hungarian dictionaries

Two wooden rabbits

And a heck of a bloody good time!

On the fifth day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

Five twits jumping matchboxes!

Four killer cars

Three Hungarian dictionaries

Two wooden rabbits

And a heck of a bloody good time!

On the sixth day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

Six Castle Aaaargs

Five twits jumping matchboxes!

Four killer cars

Three Hungarian dictionaries

Two wooden rabbits

And a heck of a bloody good time!

On the seventh day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

Seven silly Britons

Six Castle Aaaargs

Five twits jumping matchboxes!

Four killer cars

Three Hungarian dictionaries

Two wooden rabbits

And a heck of a bloody good time!

On the eighth day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

Eight roasting narrators

Seven silly Britons

Six Castle Aaaargs

Five twits jumping matchboxes!

Four killer cars

Three Hungarian dictionaries

Two wooden rabbits

And a heck of a bloody good time!

On the ninth day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

Nine okay lumberjacks

Eight roasting narrators

Seven silly Britons

Six Castle Aaaargs

Five twits jumping matchboxes!

Four killer cars

Three Hungarian dictionaries

Two wooden rabbits

And a heck of a bloody good time!

On the tenth day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

Ten resting parrots

Nine okay lumberjacks

Eight roasting narrators

Seven silly Britons

Six Castle Aaaargs

Five twits jumping matchboxes!

Four killer cars

Three Hungarian dictionaries

Two wooden rabbits

And a heck of a bloody good time!

On the eleventh day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

Eleven pounds of spam

Ten resting parrots

Nine okay lumberjacks

Eight roasting narrators

Seven silly Britons

Six Castle Aaaargs

Five twits jumping matchboxes!

Four killer cars

Three Hungarian dictionaries

Two wooden rabbits

And a heck of a bloody good time!

On the twelfth day of Christmas Monty Python gave to me

Twelve migrating coconuts

Eleven pounds of spam

Ten resting parrots

Nine okay lumberjacks

Eight roasting narrators

Seven silly Britons

Six Castle Aaaargs

Five twits jumping matchboxes!

Four killer cars

Three Hungarian dictionaries

Two wooden rabbits

And a heck of a bloody good time!

A/N: Yay! That was fun! I got this into my head in English and decided to publish it. . . tell me if you want me to continue! And now for something completely different a.k.a. Trix Rabbit!


	2. Silent Spam

A/N: I'm back! OK, so I didn't know if I'd do another one, but I got some cool responses, so here I am! This one is a bit weird, but bear with it. . .

A/N 2: About the "OK Lumberjacks" line in the previous chapter…unless I am utterly mistaken, that is the correct lyric.

Disclaimer: I don't own Monty Python. Although I did see one of them in _Die Another Day_. I also don't own "Silent Night."

"Silent Spam"

Silent spam

Holy spam

Not like steak

Not like jam

Round like circles

In math class

Smells like rotten fish

'Specially bass

Seems to go well with be-eans

Seems to go well with beans.

Silent spam

Holy spam

Knights search for

Grails and lamb

Glossy food

Screams "lots of grease"

It's as tasty as

Orange-roasted geese

Vikings sit and enjoy-oy

Vikings sit and enjoy.


	3. Cut the Trees

A/N: Heeeeeeere's Morphie! All Stephen King and no Michael Chrichton makes Morphie go crazy. Sorry this took so long to post! I've been very busy with the holidays, as have we all! I wish you all a VERY Happy New Year!

Disclaimer: I do not own Monty Python or Deck the Halls. Who would blame me if I did? **lots of lawyers show up** Oh. . .that's who!

**Cut the trees**

Cut the trees with real sharp axes

(He's a lumberjack and he's okay)

Wear a skirt and send some faxes

(He's a lumberjack and he's okay)

Don some pretty gay apparal

(He's a lumberjack and he's okay)

Skip and jump and pay those taxes

(He's a lumberjack and he's okay!)

Chop off someone's bloody arma

(Arthur Ki-ing of the Bri-itons)

Tis a flesh wound, it's no harma

(Arthur Ki-ing of the Bri-itons)

Arthur tried to kill the Black Knight

(Arthur Ki-i-ing of the Britons)

Running away may bring bad karma

(Arthur Ki-ing of the Bri-itons!)

Let's learn to defend my grandma

(Wi-ith fresh fruit, fresh fruit, fresh fruit)

Those darn pommegrates may hurt sheep-BA!

(Wi-ith fresh fruit, fresh fruit, fresh fruit)

Why don't we shoot those guys from Alma?

(Wi-ith fresh fruit, fresh fruit, fresh fruit fruit)

Oh no, hide, I see a coppa. . .

(Wi-ith fresh fruit, fresh fruit, fresh fruit!)

A/N: That was pretty cool. . .oh, and coppacopperpolice, if you were confused.


	4. God rest thee, Monty Pythons

((Author's note: It's that time of year again! I've written two more MP-ized songs, but only three verses each. Maybe that means more for your money!))

Disclaimer: Monty Python belongs to Monty Python. If I met a Monty Python, I would die. If I died, I couldn't write any more songs. So, let's keep those Monty Pythons away from me, eh?

God rest thee, Monty Pythons 

God rest thee, Monty Pythons

Leave none in London sane

Remember once you were a show

Upon the BBC

You save us all from funny jokes

With not-so-funny ends

Oh tidings of nudges and winks

Nudges and winks

Oh tidings of nudges and winks

In Great Britain a mystery

Is waiting to unfold

The people there are wondering

Where did the pet store go?

Some say the owner ran away

Became a lumberjack

Oh tidings of trees and dead parrots

Trees and dead parrots!

Oh tidings of trees and dead parrots!

From Eric Idle, crazy man,

A masterpiece is born

He made that movie _Holy Grail_

Into a musical 

Some people in the U.S. laughed

And some said 'what the crap?'

But that didn't stop the hoards of patrons

No—it did not!

No, it didn't stop the hoards of patrons, no!

((A/N: This chapter has been corrected.))


End file.
